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SpaceGodzilla:

Finally, we get to review the origional!

Ebirah:

Ya, I thought you'd like this one.

SpaceGodzilla:

OK, here it goes!

Ebirah:

So, Godzilla is spotted on an island in Japan, and...

SpaceGodzilla:

Hey, I'm gonna narrate this, so back off before I call Red Lobster!

Ebirah:

That's not funny!!!!!

SpaceGodzilla:

To you mabey. So, back to the story now. After a few attacks, Godzilla shows up to wreck havoc on Tokyo!

Ebirah:

In the American version, reporter (not comedian) Steve Martin tells the story.

SpaceGodzilla:

Do you mind?! After a couple of attacks, the Jappaneese finally wised up, and they used SCIENCE! So Dr. Serizawa made an invention called the Oxygen Destroyer. It was successful in "killing" Godzilla, but the Dr. killed himself to keep his invention secret.

Ebirah:

Now for the talon report!

SpaceGodzilla:

I'd have to give it 8 talons (because tha is the max amount, I only have 8 fingers!) up! Encore!!!!!

Ebirah:

Even though I only have 4 possible claw parts to stick up, I'd have to give it 6 talons up. It had too hoaky a plot in a way, the monster was obviously fake, and it really had nothing without Ramond Burr (Steve Martin)!

SpaceGodzilla:

Y'know if I'm not mistaken, my Godzilla half is becoming dominant again! BooHoo Ha Ha Ha!!!!! Hey Gorosaurus, get the shell-openers! I have a sudden craving for.... . LOBSTER!

Ebirah:

Ha Ha, whoops did I say 6? I really ment 8, really! Come on now, this isn't funny, hey let go, I'll call security, I mean it, Gorosaurus hold him back, no, NO, AAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

The Critics Pages!